A new book by Perth-based author Regina Collier takes an unsparing look at the social dynamics surrounding grief, arguing that bereaved people are routinely treated as socially untouchable by those around them. I Don't Have Leprosy, I'm Just Grieving: A Widow's Blunt Perspective on Society (ISBN: 978-1834385839), published by Tellwell Publishing, is based on Collier's experience after losing her partner, Dean, in July 2022, following complications from a double-lung transplant.

The book's provocative title captures what Collier describes as a central experience of her bereavement: the feeling that her grief had made her socially untouchable. People disappeared, she writes. Conversations changed. Some offered clichés or unsolicited advice; others tried to fix something that had no fix. Collier found herself questioning why grieving people are so often treated as though their pain is something others need to avoid, manage, or solve.

Throughout the book, Collier introduces the concept of "Grief Brain" — the disorienting mental and emotional state that can accompany profound loss. She allows readers to experience grief's contradictions alongside her: repetitive thoughts, anger, dark humor, and raw candor, with little attempt to present a tidied version of mourning.

She confronts a range of familiar behaviors surrounding bereavement — telling a grieving person what their deceased partner "would have wanted," comparing one person's loss to another's, assuming that enough time has passed for someone to be okay, or simply withdrawing when grief becomes uncomfortable.

Alongside that critique, the book is also a love story. Dean was Collier's best friend, and his death meant grieving not only the man himself but their shared routines, plans, sense of security, and the future they had imagined together. Her four adult children, her family dog Brutus, and her memories of Dean serve as anchors throughout the narrative.

Collier's core message is not a formula for resolving grief but a simpler appeal: listen, ask grieving people what they need rather than assuming, allow them to speak about the person they lost, and do not disappear because their grief causes discomfort.

I Don't Have Leprosy, I'm Just Grieving is available through Amazon and major online retailers.

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